This word is defined by definition defining itself. Hence it is called the definite article. It only exists in the present tense as the and the gerund, thing.

The is usually regarded as the fourth word in the English lexicon aftera, be and see. This has however been attributed to a confusion between its original spelling with a 'thorn', a disused letter unavailable in this font, but which looked like a 'd' with a cross on the high stroke. This letter was pronounced 'th' and was later debased to 'y', as in 'ye olde tea shop'. Here the 'y' was always pronounced 'th' until it dropped from use. It only attained a 'y' pronunciation when the spelling was revived as an anachronism.

Of course during the seventeenth centre there was a party who maintained that the was the first word in the English lexicon, quoting the testament of St. John: "In the beginning was the word". These people, called Theists held that the universe began with defintion defining itself, and that definition existed outside time but without definition. (See "Theses of the Theists"). This was contested by the anists who promulgated their "Several Indefinite Articles of Faith" who adopted a more intuitive approach. They suggested that definition must not only have been without definition, but in fact indefinite. This current quickly fragmented into a variety of sects who all maintained some but not all of the "Several Indefinite Articles of Faith" of the founding Synod. One faction, the Atheists tried to develop a compromise arguing that it was impossible to have definion without indefinition, and that the two were yoked together. They reasserted all the "Several Indefinite Articles of Faith" but declared these to be "The Indefinite Articles of Faith" to which they added "Several Definite Articles of Faith" which embodied many of the "Theses of the Theists".

Unfortunately this stimulating debate was brought to a halt with the supression of the Batavian Revolution and the execution of nearly all of the participants. The only survivor was a certain Florian Cramer, who established a dynasty which has continued this debate amongst all his descendants. As Cramer established a tradition of calling all his children Florian Cramer, a habit which they have maintained to this day, much of this modern debate between the several hundred Florian Cramers no living is almost impossible for an outsider to unravel. Should an investigator enquire whether a particular Florian Cramer is the Florian Cramer responsible for a particular tract, the response will not so much depend on a correct or incorrect identity, but rather on the position of the particular individual in the debate.

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